Writing center

I went to see Mrs.Swift today and she told me couple things. The main thing that I have to revise that my essay is not moving from one point. So my argument is relationship can change people's personalitie and I was keep writing about this. For example, I said relationship can change people's personalities and I gave examples that proves the point. Then, I said he relationship can change people's personalities. I realized that this is very annoying and not interesting at the all. Ms.Swift told me that I have to move from point to point. So it should be like a straight line, but my essay is circle. So I have to revised this. Also she told me that I have too much unnecessary imformations which is summary. I think my essay doesn't have enough analysis. Analysis is the main point of the essay so I have to cut my summary and write more analysis. When Mrs.Swift and I cut off unnecessary sentences, my essay became very short and that shows how much did I had unnecessary imformation.
She also told me about format. When I write the title of a book, I have to underline it. But when I write the tittle of film, I have to you use like “American Sniper.” Also first time that I mentioned the name of book or film, I have to say author’s name or director’s name.
Last thing that she told me is don't use anyway. I thought anyway is good word to use in essay but she told me that it is very casual and not very good for essay.
After I went to see Mrs.Swift. I was little bit disappointed about my essay. I thought it was not bad but I realized that it was bad. However this is first time that I'm writing this kind of essay so I'll try to learn about this more than now, and make better essay then I'll bring it to Mrs.Swift. This is my new challenge.

I'm working on making lots of point. My essay is very boring because I only talked about one point and I was repeating it. So it was like a circle. I have to give lots of point so my essay will be more interesting and I don't have to repeat same thing. She told me that I don't have to think too much deep. I have to write what did I thought and my opinion. Whatever, I'll cut unnecessary imformations and put more my new thought or opinion. Also I'll cur summary too because I have little a lot of summary. Instead of summary, I'll wrote analysis. My essay has more summary than analysis so I'll try to switch the amount of them. I also have to focus on my small mistakes. For examples, spelling errors, capitalizing, and quote. Those things are easier than other thing so I'll go over my essay and try to find my small mistakes.